hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
