I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this will be a night to untag.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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