We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
