the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
