so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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