is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
