When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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