Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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