haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
