Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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