two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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