Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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