Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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