let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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