You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
