this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
