So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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