hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
