We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
