I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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