Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
