I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
