he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
how does that bad decision feel?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
