an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
