I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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