I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
