If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
