if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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