he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
