its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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