Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
