I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it's great music for shaving your balls
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
