I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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