Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
