I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
