her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
