I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
cat food counts as protein by the way
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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