Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
