Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
