Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
