And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
