i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
