I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
