i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
