Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
