there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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