sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
