this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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