I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
