Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
