Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize