Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
